Musings, Pain, Prayer, Process, Trials, Wilderness

What Are You Looking At?

I scribbled this in my journal a while back. It was true then, and it stands true now.

Strange how small everything else seems in the light of eternity. Whenever I find myself drowning in the cares of life, it is always because I have lost sight of eternity. It is always because I have allowed the thoughts of this world precedence in my heart. Scriptures talk a lot about lifting your eyes, and I think only lately have I begun to grasp what that really means for myself. 

The Lord has been allowing me to go through a period of uncertainty and unknowing. It hasn’t been easy on my little heart. There were decisions that needed making, crossroads that needed to be taken, questions of the heart that needed answers and overwhelming desires that longed to be met. My soul was so tangled up and messy on the inside. I worried, I paced, I threw up my hands in frustration. “Lord what am I supposed to do? Just tell me what to do!” He said, “Praise Me.” To be honest, I was actually expecting a lengthy and profound revelation from heaven (you know, like an awesome prophetic dream download) but that was all He gave me. Two words. Praise Me. What! I brushed His words away. Surely it was more than that. Surely it couldn’t be so simple. I continued fretting and asking but over the next few days, He remained so silent it frightened me. 

So tonight I caved in and set an entire night apart determined to worship amidst my confusion and turmoil. Tonight, I lifted my eyes and sung my way into emotional breakthrough. I ugly cried my way into a whole new level of abandoned trust. I saw eternity, and suddenly everything I was anxious about seemed embarrassingly insignificant. I saw His goodness and calmness covered my aching heart. I saw His faithfulness and peace enveloped my soul. I was able to trust again. I was able to breathe again. I was able to let go. 

Oh how He rearranges me when I am in His presence. Nothing’s changed around me but everything’s changed inside of me. 

O my soul
Fix your eyes on His face. 

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