Bridal Paradigm, Consecration, Desire, Fear of God, Love

My Jealous Lover 

4 years ago, in the thick of depression, I believed God didn’t love me. I believed that He loved mankind as a whole but me? Not me. Not if He would allow me such pain. I remember crying to an aunty from church and asking her if she believed God loved her. She said yes; with all her heart she did. And I was dumbfounded, I couldn’t understand. 

But today I can say too with all my heart that I believe God loves me. He loves me fiercely, relentlessly, like a wave that crashes over and over again. He doesn’t stop, He fights to the end, burning all that stands in the way. His eyes ablaze with fire – a jealous Lover whose heart is set only on one thing – me. 

How pale these afflictions seem in the light of this glorious wonder. I can withstand anything. 


One thought on “My Jealous Lover 

  1. Trying to remind myself of this tonight. Apt that I scrolled down my feed and I see this. I am having one of those nights. That I know I would sleep if I just surrender. But yet I am so resistant. I find my worries so trivial. My restlessness, a frivolous privilege.

    I do remember my dark hours, and how He made me realise that all would be ok. Yet ttonight, I am holding back the floodgates. I believe, yet I don’t always seek, I don’t always cry out, if that makes sense.


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