Fear of God, Worship

Radiance & Undeniable Beauty 

He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power. After making purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high..

You, Lord, laid the foundation of the earth in the beginning, and the heavens are the work of your hands; they will perish, but you remain; they will all wear out like a garment, like a robe you will roll them up, like a garment they will be changed. But you are the same, and your years will have no end.

‭‭- Hebrews‬ ‭1:3, 10-12‬ ‭

But despite everything, the beauty of who You are still moves me. Beyond anything else, it still moves me.

You still have my awe. 

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Eternity, Fear of God

Humility // He is God, I am not. 

Who are we, as mere man, to determine right from wrong? Our standards and our self perception are foolishness in the sight of God. And it is when we think we know better and elevate ourselves above the wisdom of God that pride has entered into our hearts. The foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom. His ways are higher than what we can fathom. It is utter ignorance and foolishness to declare that we know a better way than what God has provided for us through Christ Jesus. His word is final & all will be brought before His burning eyes one day. Far be it from me to scorn His ways and follow my own waywardness – only to regret it on that day when I stand before His throne.

At the end of the day, He is God and I am not. He is Creator and I am the dust formed by His hands. And it all boils down to whether we understand this one simple thing or, in pride, choose to rebel against it. 

As for me I will yield to my God in humility & worship Him in the reverence He is due. 

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Bridal Paradigm, Consecration, Desire, Fear of God, Love

My Jealous Lover 

4 years ago, in the thick of depression, I believed God didn’t love me. I believed that He loved mankind as a whole but me? Not me. Not if He would allow me such pain. I remember crying to an aunty from church and asking her if she believed God loved her. She said yes; with all her heart she did. And I was dumbfounded, I couldn’t understand. 

But today I can say too with all my heart that I believe God loves me. He loves me fiercely, relentlessly, like a wave that crashes over and over again. He doesn’t stop, He fights to the end, burning all that stands in the way. His eyes ablaze with fire – a jealous Lover whose heart is set only on one thing – me. 

How pale these afflictions seem in the light of this glorious wonder. I can withstand anything. 

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Consecration, Fear of God, israel, The Church

What Love Is This? 

// From an interview with a man from the underground Church in the Middle East: “There are people that are my brothers and sisters that I talk to all the time, and they’re very close to me, in some ways they feel closer than my natural sister and brother and family and immediate family. And I have to think about this – What if we’re all together one day and radical Muslims break our door down and they start raping for example all the girls in there? 

I went and asked one of them, “What are you going to do if a guy, not just one guy, what if they come and gang rape you? What are you doing to think at that moment?” And this ex-radical Muslim said this to me, that is now a follower, a passionate fiery follower of Christ, “I have given up my rights. I have given up my position. I have given up everything for Jesus. I have given up my desires. I have given up even my future. And at that moment, when they come and rape me, I will close my eyes and say, “Now I offer my body as a living sacrifice for You as it just says in Romans 12:2.”

And when that girl said that to me that blew my mind, how someone can just go in the secret place of their heart and find Jesus in that moment when they’re getting raped and say, “Lord, on my knees, I offer you my body as a living sacrifice.” 

And that’s what God is doing to radical female Muslims. He is transforming them into radical, insane, crazy Christians, that.. I mean, you can’t even put in words what that girl said and how powerfully deep what she said, and how strong, and what grace must be on her life that she could say that so strongly and so confidently to say at that moment, “I will picture Jesus and say now I give You my body.””

// After all this time, I weep for how little I know of love.  

// Photo taken at the Muslim Quarter of Old City Jerusalem.

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Consecration, Eternity, Fear of God, Musings

But As For Me

“When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. 

Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you. But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds.”
‭‭Psalm‬ ‭73:21-28‬ ‭

I look around me and I see all these people chasing the wind. They run around in circles, preening and bickering. They climb over each other to the top of it all, and wonder why they still feel so empty on the inside. They build their lives upon passing sands, and they wonder why it all shifts and collapses at a mere puff of the wind. So frantic. So restless. So meaningless.

But as for me, I will choose the better part. What does it matter if I gain the whole world and lose my soul? I will have enough wisdom to build my life around what matters in the light of eternity. 

It is complete foolishness otherwise.

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Consecration, Desire, Fear of God, Intimacy, Love, Musings, Pain, Wilderness, Worship

A Price to Pay

I was in a train thinking today – how nothing worth having ever comes easy. 

There are some people you come across – men and women of God who love Jesus dearly and it is so evident. You cannot fake love. Pure love is written all over their faces. It is in the sweet and unique fragrance that the worship of their lives release. It is in fire of their eyes and the weight of their words when they speak of Him. People look at all these things and they marvel at it. But they know not the struggles and battles fought in private. They do not see the countless tears shed. There is a great price to pay to know the nearness of Jesus. His heart is one that burns with an all consuming fire and the one who wants to be near Him must walk through this fire of burning. It is the death of self, the labor of prayer. The surrendering of the heart, the refining of soul, the sacrifice of holiness. The travail mourning and the deep aching hunger for more. 

It is a painful road that few understand and even fewer dare to take. 

Of course one can simply go to church on Sundays and highlight a few verses, read a few books. Anyone can do that, it is not hard. Anyone can love Jesus from afar. It is easy. But it takes real courage to pay the price of burning that authentic face to face intimacy with God requires. This is more than mere obedience or a good Christian show. This is the gut wrenching heart cry of the one who will not settle for anything less. 

This fire I talk of – it is painful, but it is sweet. Difficult as this road is, there is a deep satisfaction in living for something greater than yourself… It is what we were made for and the only thing that will make our dull sorrowful hearts come alive. 

It is this Love that caused the saints of old go to their deathbeds singing and worshipping. Their eyes were lifted to heaven and their hearts were aflame with passion for the Lord they loved more than life itself. Oh how I want it.. How I desire a love for Jesus so great that it changes all I know and shakes the very foundation on which I walk. Is He not worthy of this kind of love? Is He not worthy of all I have to give, and yet still more? 

If the fire leads me to You, I want to walk through it even when it hurts. If it takes the burning for me to be completely one with You, do it Lord. Burn my heart and let it be fully Yours.

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Consecration, Eschatology, Eternity, Fear of God, Forerunner Message, The Church, Truth

Love Wins

In the midst of the darkest and most confused hour in human history, may the Lord find a remnant faithful unto Him. As His eyes search to and fro throughout the earth, may He find an entire generation given over to Him, no matter the cost. May He find consecrated ones standing for Jesus, standing for truth, standing for love. Real love – the kind that goes hand in hand with truth, righteousness and saving grace – not the kind that celebrates perversion, compromise, and political correctness.

When the whole world rises up to shake their fists at You, let the wise be found on Your side. When the nations rage against You, let the humble be found hidden under the shelter of Your wings. When the masses gather to hate Your ways and curse Your name, let the faithful be found loving and exalting Your name.

Strengthen Your saints Lord! Keep us standing to the end. When You return, You will find faith on this earth.

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