Longing, Love, Words

Fool

The prospect of love reduces me into a manic fool. But how can I not be one, when it is the greatest desire, the biggest longing of my godforsaken heart.

How desperate my clutch becomes, how embarrassing.

But love is my desire, my greatest longing and I can’t help but to become a fool for it.

– written months ago, when I first met him.

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Pain, Process, Words

Change 

“You’ve changed,” she said. 

Pain does that. Time, too. 

“Are you proud of it?”

Of course. Of course I am. I’ve fought so hard to grow into every single inch of this new skin. To hold my head up high every single day and carry on. 

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Love, Musings, Poetry, Words

A Short Story

“You are like a dancing dream, full of bright lights and colors and explosion. I could watch you all day and when you speak I never want to stop listening. You make me fall in love without even trying, and you don’t even know it.” 

I wrote this ages ago. I never share little pieces like in the moment – it feels too vulnerable. But when it has all passed and when my heart has settled.. the stories become easier to tell. 

He made such a mark on my heart. It was a very brief and fragile time, but I catch myself missing it every single day. 

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Musings, Pain, Words

What do I say to you girls — you beautiful girls? You girls who are having the Bad Year — the Bad Year where you cannot remember why you were happy aged 12, and cannot imagine being happy at 21? … That panic and anxiety will lie to you — they are gonzo, malign commentators on the events of your life. Their counsel is wrong. You are as high, wired and badly advised by adrenaline as you would be by cocaine. Panic and anxiety are mad, drugged fools. Do not listen to their grinding-toothed, sweaty bullshit … And the most important thing? To know that you were not born like this. You were not born scared and self-loathing and overwhelmed. Things have been done — which means things can be undone. It is hard work. But you are not scared of hard work, compared with everything else you have dealt with.

Caitlin Moran 

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