Eschatology, Longing, The Church

The Wedding Day

This is the story of the Son of God

Hanging on a cross for me

But it ends with a Bride and a Groom 

and a wedding by a glassy sea

O death, where is your sting? 

Cause I’ll be there singing 

Holy, holy, holy is Your name.


This is the story of a bride in white

waiting on her wedding day

Anticipation welling up inside 

while her Groom is crowned a King

O death, where is your sting?

Cause we’ll be there singing 

Holy, holy, holy is Your name.

“And I heard, as it were, the voice of a great multitude, as the sound of many waters and as the sound of mighty thunderings, saying, “Alleluia! For the Lord God Omnipotent reigns! Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has made herself ready.” And to her it was granted to be arrayed in fine linen, clean and bright, for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints.” // ‭‭Revelation‬ ‭19:6-8‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

This is all I am living, breathing & preparing for. Every sacrifice, every longing twist of the heart and every single bit of waiting will be worth it on that glorious day. All things will be made new then – every tear wiped away and every sorrow turned to joy as we behold the face of the One we have faithfully loved this whole time. How our hearts will swell.. How all of heaven and earth will burst forth together in one resounding chorus of praise and singing. Marriage here on earth is beautiful, but it is only a reflection of all there is to come.

He is worth the wait. Until then, let our lives echo with the voice a longing bride who is making herself ready.

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Bridal Paradigm, Consecration, Desire, Fear of God, Love

My Jealous Lover 

4 years ago, in the thick of depression, I believed God didn’t love me. I believed that He loved mankind as a whole but me? Not me. Not if He would allow me such pain. I remember crying to an aunty from church and asking her if she believed God loved her. She said yes; with all her heart she did. And I was dumbfounded, I couldn’t understand. 

But today I can say too with all my heart that I believe God loves me. He loves me fiercely, relentlessly, like a wave that crashes over and over again. He doesn’t stop, He fights to the end, burning all that stands in the way. His eyes ablaze with fire – a jealous Lover whose heart is set only on one thing – me. 

How pale these afflictions seem in the light of this glorious wonder. I can withstand anything. 

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Desire, Eschatology, Eternity, Forerunner Message, Longing, Worship

Worth the Wait

I’ve never been good at waiting. When I know something, I want it. When I see treasure of great worth and beauty (even more so, treasure I know is promised for me!) everything in me yearns to the point of tears. There have been times when I feel like I will break from longing. 

The heartache of waiting is real. But so is the beauty of hope. These two emotions mingle together into a strange unsettling sigh. 

But He is worth it. He is worth the heartache of waiting. He is worth the tears and the longing. Every twist of my heart brings me closer to a life lived beside the One I love. 

“…not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off were assured of them, embraced them and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth. For those who say such things declare plainly that they seek a homeland.. they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭11:13-14, 16‬ ‭

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Bridal Paradigm, Desire, Intimacy, Longing, Love, Musings

I Am Lovely

The Shulamite: I am dark, but lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem, Like the tents of Kedar, Like the curtains of Solomon.
(Song of Solomon 1:5)

The Beloved: If you do not know, O fairest among women, Follow in the footsteps of the flock, And feed your little goats Beside the shepherds’ tents. (‭Song of Solomon‬ ‭1‬:‭8) 

The Shulamite woman is so painfully aware of her darkness. Out of the overflow of her insecure heart, her mouth speaks – and she calls herself dark.

But look! Immediately, in the next passage, her Beloved affirms her by calling her the “fairest among women”. He counters her insecurities by speaking over her words of healing and life. He sees beauty in her even when she is unable to see it herself. 

Instead of pointing out her obvious faults, he continues to affirm her throughout the remainder of the Song – prophetically calling forth the woman she was always meant to be. The love of this man aids in bringing wholeness and restoration to the Shulamite woman’s heart. He makes her feel safe by covering her weakness with his strength. His tender love brings healing to her heart. We see how this plays out in the remainder of the Song, with the Shulamite woman growing in confidence as she understands that his desire is for her, yes, even in her brokenness. She emerges from underneath her wall of fear and insecurity, and she grows into one mature in love, equally yoked with her Beloved. 

The love of a man is life-bringing in a special way to a woman’s heart. It is able to unlock things inside a woman and cause her to blossom beautifully. If the imperfect love of fallen man can bring this about, how much more can the perfect love of God heal and restore our hearts! 

When we begin to understand how God sees us, something will unlock inside us. He does not despise us in our darkness, and He does not shame our frail offerings of love. He loves the one who is broken and contrite in heart. He looks upon the (sincere) struggling believer with such tender eyes. The more we understand this the more confident we can be before Him. 

What is it to be covered and protected? What does it feel like to be cherished, even in our weakness? What does it feel like to be loved unconditionally, and to be wanted even in our brokenness? What is it like to be pursued and to be seen as lovely and beautiful? So much healing comes. His love is able to do all these things and more. 

No longer will our faces be clouded by shame. No longer will we beat ourselves up in insecurity. When we understand that His desire is for us, something will settle inside of our hearts. His love causes our hearts to be still, and finally, we can rest. 

We can say confidently, “Dark am I, but I am lovely to Him.” 

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Bridal Paradigm, Intimacy, Longing, Love, Musings, The Church

Romance, Part of a Bigger Tapestry

This week I am diving deep into the Song of Solomon. I love seeing the heart of God revealed between the two lovers.

I once asked myself, “Why romance? Why marriage? Why is it necessary?” I’ve since realized my answer. Romance is part of a bigger tapestry. It reveals a glimpse of the bigger love story we are caught up in, one that shouts all across the universe, and one sometimes so incomprehensible that we cannot understand it unless it is revealed to us in the more obvious details of everyday life. And that is where romance and relationship comes in. The heart of it all is the same. Human love reflects divine love. The heart’s response to affection reflects the design that we were created for a bigger love. How a man pursues reveals how God pursues. How a woman’s beauty captivates reveals the nature of His beauty to draw us in. Sacrifice and compromise and fighting for love reveal to us the underlying undying nature of perfected love – a love that lasts. Perhaps romance and, eventually, mature love, is the greatest gift He gives to us to help us understand His love for us – and to understand how we are to respond to such a love.

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Bridal Paradigm, Eschatology, Eternity, Longing, Musings

Morning Will Come

For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. (‭I Corinthians‬ ‭13‬:‭12‬ NKJV)

We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us! (‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13‬:‭12‬ MSG)

I have complained and grumbled many times about not being able to see clearly. Yes, there are glimpses. Yes, there are moments when the veil of eternity is lifted. I am so grateful but it is just that – a glimpse. A moment. As much as we can see now, it is only in part. As much as the most gifted seer or prophet can see now, it is still only in part. And how I groan because of this. I think I will groan for the rest of my years. There is a lovesickness inside of me that simply will not go away, not until I behold the One I love face to face. There is also a homesickness inside of me that remains even on days that are full and happy. Truth be told, the more glimpses I get, the more lovesick and homesick I become. Some days it really gets quite bad; my heart aches and I cry and cry. 

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. (‭Psalms‬ ‭30‬:‭5‬ NKJV)

It is still night. Our Bridegroom is not yet fully with us.

But steady my heart. Morning will come, and it will be beautiful.

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Bridal Paradigm, Consecration, Grace, Intimacy, Musings, Pain

He Calls Me Lovely

I am dark, but lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem, Like the tents of Kedar, Like the curtains of Solomon. (‭Song of Solomon‬ ‭1‬:‭5‬ NKJV)

Time and time again, the depths of my own humanity shock me. Held up against the light of His holiness, I am aghast at my weaknesses, my sins, my failures, my inabilities. 

But He does not let me stop there. When He reveals to me the depths of my depravity, He reveals also to me the brilliance of His love. His love is exalted the same way the stars are exalted against a pitch black sky. 

The more I know Him, the more I see that He loves me not because I am good, but because He is good. I am utterly wretched apart from the grace of Jesus Christ.

But now, because of grace, He calls me lovely. Yes, I am dark, but I am lovely. 

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