Destiny, Eternity, Intimacy, Process, The Voyage

Through it all. 

Maybe destiny isn’t so much a place we are going to, nor a task we will set out to do – but more of the person we will become through it all. 

Every fire, every trial, every form of testing refines our hearts in meekness, faithfulness and humility before God – if we respond rightly. 

And every joy, every victory, every single fight won molds our hearts in understanding of His nature – that we may delight to love Him more.

I think destiny is the complete fullness of a heartbeat thriving in oneness with Jesus – that having done all we may stand, and stand victorious before the One we know and love. 

– pilgrim on a journey home. 

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Bridal Paradigm, Consecration, Desire, Fear of God, Love

My Jealous Lover 

4 years ago, in the thick of depression, I believed God didn’t love me. I believed that He loved mankind as a whole but me? Not me. Not if He would allow me such pain. I remember crying to an aunty from church and asking her if she believed God loved her. She said yes; with all her heart she did. And I was dumbfounded, I couldn’t understand. 

But today I can say too with all my heart that I believe God loves me. He loves me fiercely, relentlessly, like a wave that crashes over and over again. He doesn’t stop, He fights to the end, burning all that stands in the way. His eyes ablaze with fire – a jealous Lover whose heart is set only on one thing – me. 

How pale these afflictions seem in the light of this glorious wonder. I can withstand anything. 

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Intimacy, Wilderness

Never Run Dry 

When my soul begins to despair within me, I turn to the Author of life and ask Him to fill my being. Lift up your head Isabel. There is One who can calm the seas within you. He hears your every cry and He will be so faithful to carry you. When you are dry and weary, run to Him – He satisfies, He really really does.

//

Your arms enfold me, till I am only

A child of God.

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Hope, Musings, Pain

I Trust You Father

What if? Very rarely do we ever find out what if. All we can do is to keep our heads up and keep on walking. Trusting that every turn, every wrong decision, every mistake, will all eventually come together into something far more beautiful than what we could have ever come up with on our own. 

Why did things have to happen the way they did? Should I have known better? Done it all differently? What if? What if? I have so many unanswered questions that tinge my heart with sadness, but I will learn to make peace with them. This must be what surrender looks like.

God I know You make all things beautiful even when I don’t understand. What’s ahead will be worth it all.

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Consecration, Fear of God, israel, The Church

What Love Is This? 

// From an interview with a man from the underground Church in the Middle East: “There are people that are my brothers and sisters that I talk to all the time, and they’re very close to me, in some ways they feel closer than my natural sister and brother and family and immediate family. And I have to think about this – What if we’re all together one day and radical Muslims break our door down and they start raping for example all the girls in there? 

I went and asked one of them, “What are you going to do if a guy, not just one guy, what if they come and gang rape you? What are you doing to think at that moment?” And this ex-radical Muslim said this to me, that is now a follower, a passionate fiery follower of Christ, “I have given up my rights. I have given up my position. I have given up everything for Jesus. I have given up my desires. I have given up even my future. And at that moment, when they come and rape me, I will close my eyes and say, “Now I offer my body as a living sacrifice for You as it just says in Romans 12:2.”

And when that girl said that to me that blew my mind, how someone can just go in the secret place of their heart and find Jesus in that moment when they’re getting raped and say, “Lord, on my knees, I offer you my body as a living sacrifice.” 

And that’s what God is doing to radical female Muslims. He is transforming them into radical, insane, crazy Christians, that.. I mean, you can’t even put in words what that girl said and how powerfully deep what she said, and how strong, and what grace must be on her life that she could say that so strongly and so confidently to say at that moment, “I will picture Jesus and say now I give You my body.””

// After all this time, I weep for how little I know of love.  

// Photo taken at the Muslim Quarter of Old City Jerusalem.

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goodness, Hope, Longing, restoration, The Voyage

Tree Of Life

Those who sow in tears will reap in joyful shouting. The more the tears, the greater the joy that awaits. There are areas in my life where I have ever only known hurt and disappointment. Yet it is exactly in these areas that my Father wants to show His goodness the most. It is hard to believe sometimes but it is true. I know it with all my heart.  

I know that the tears we cry before Him fall as water to tender soil. We look now and we see no sign of life – only barrenness and disappointment. But hope again. Again and again and again, even against the fiercest of odds. Never allow the tender soil of your heart to harden. Because hidden underneath is a seed of promise. The tears that fall from our weary eyes water this promise seed. And as we sow with our tears and frustrations, as we plough with our heart hopes and secret prayers – this seed will, one day, grow into the most beautiful tree of life. 

The darker the night, the brighter the day. The longer the hope deffered, the more radiant the tree of life. We come with our ashes and He gives us beauty. We come with our broken hearts and He makes all things beautiful. We surrender and He restores. 

All the tears I have cried, I will, one day, reap in joyful shouting. And everything that I have fought so hard to believe in – one day I will no longer have to fight anymore – because it will be as plain as day, playing out right in front of my eyes for me to see. Everything that I have ever lost, all the tears I have ever cried, all the brokenness I have ever endured, He will restore back to me with joy and singing. 

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a promise fulfilled is a tree of life. He will fulfill all His promises and we will dance wild and free under His tree of life. 

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Destiny, goodness, Worship

Perfect Father

Reveal Your heart through the stories of our lives. Grand Master Weaver, weave through us tales that tell of the goodness of You. Let Your heartbeat be known in every area & let Your fingerprints be seen all over. We will stand in awe and our hearts will burst forth in worship when it hits us, over and over again, that You are exactly who You say You are. 

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