Consecration, Process, Trials, Wilderness

I do believe, please help my unbelief.

I miss the days of simple faith. Everything is so much easier when you “just believe”. So much more beautiful. 

How I envy those who have not gone through the fires of doubt. 

Here I stand now in these fires. They lick and eat away at me from every side. Will I come out unscathed and stronger, or will they burn me away to waste? 


Choices and Consequences

The story of Abraham, Sarah, Hagar and eventually, the Eastern Arabic lineage of Ishmael intruiges me. 

One woman’s doubt. 
One man’s lack of faith. 

The consequences of Abraham and Sarah’s mistrust in God have rippled through an entire generation and we are still seeing the disastrous effects of it today. What would have happened if they had believed in His promise of a son to them? What would have happened if they had chosen to trust Him with the desire of their hearts instead of taking things into their own hands? 

What has He promised to you? What is the desire of your heart that you waiting for? 

His promises may sound impossible and downright absurd sometimes. We look at the physical circumstances around us and we wonder how any of it will ever come to pass. Our hope is deferred time and time again and in the waiting our hearts grow sick. Like Sarah, we are tempted to take things into our own hands and settle for easier options instead of waiting for what seems like the impossible. 

But know that there is a great reward that awaits those who remain faithful and patiently endure the heartache of waiting. It is hard – but not as hard as facing the consequences and regret of disobedience. We may not understand it now, but our choices to trust and move forward in obedience (or the other way around) will set the course for the generations that come after us.

Musings, Process, Wilderness

Faith and Patience

…imitate those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.
And so, after he had patiently endured, he obtained the promise. (Hebrews 6:12,15 NKJV)

Faith and patience – it takes both to inherit the promises of God.

Sometimes I wonder why He promises us something so far ahead of time, and then deffers the fulfillment of it. Wouldn’t it be easier on our hearts not to tell us at all, until it is time? Because if we know, we want. And if we want, we ache.

“Did You really say that Lord? Did I hear wrong? What would You have me do?”

We swing back and forth between the heights of faith and the depths of doubt. Up and down we go – one minute hoping, the next, giving up, and then the next, daring to believe again. Tiring isn’t it?

Still.. He isn’t fazed. He walks us through this slow fire of process because it is here that the gold is formed. It is here that He builds in us a steadiness and maturity strong enough to carry the promise when it finally comes to pass.

Faith and patience. Because trust doesn’t have a deadline. Don’t lose heart, you’ll get there. And you’ll be so ready when you do.

Destiny, Prayer, Process, Trials, Wilderness

An Important Battle

The Lord is kind to give us startling moments of intense prophetic clarity during the heights of encounter. It is of utter importance to cling onto these moments because just as quickly as they come, they can, just as quickly, be clouded by the torrent of our emotions the moment we allow even a hint of doubt to enter into our hearts. It is true that we must choose our battles wisely, and perhaps one of the most important battles we will ever have to fight is the one that rages to smother our God-given words and dreams. I cannot even begin to tell you how many hopes and desires I have let wither and choke under the weeds of doubt, uncertainty, fear and discouragement. Was He lying when He showed me these things? Was it false hope? Is He a God who changes His mind? No. It is I who is not constant. It is my frailty, my weak grasp, my torrential emotions …. my humanity.

But enough. Steady my heart and strengthen my feeble knees. He is not man that He should lie. What He says with piercing clarity in the glory remains the same in the aching tension of longings yet unfulfilled. And so I will fight to cling. I will fight stay in peace. I will fight for my heart to remain in ruthless trust.

As surely as He has spoken, His promises shall come to pass. Be it unto me.

Be it on to me.