Consecration, Fear of God, israel, The Church

What Love Is This? 

// From an interview with a man from the underground Church in the Middle East: “There are people that are my brothers and sisters that I talk to all the time, and they’re very close to me, in some ways they feel closer than my natural sister and brother and family and immediate family. And I have to think about this – What if we’re all together one day and radical Muslims break our door down and they start raping for example all the girls in there? 

I went and asked one of them, “What are you going to do if a guy, not just one guy, what if they come and gang rape you? What are you doing to think at that moment?” And this ex-radical Muslim said this to me, that is now a follower, a passionate fiery follower of Christ, “I have given up my rights. I have given up my position. I have given up everything for Jesus. I have given up my desires. I have given up even my future. And at that moment, when they come and rape me, I will close my eyes and say, “Now I offer my body as a living sacrifice for You as it just says in Romans 12:2.”

And when that girl said that to me that blew my mind, how someone can just go in the secret place of their heart and find Jesus in that moment when they’re getting raped and say, “Lord, on my knees, I offer you my body as a living sacrifice.” 

And that’s what God is doing to radical female Muslims. He is transforming them into radical, insane, crazy Christians, that.. I mean, you can’t even put in words what that girl said and how powerfully deep what she said, and how strong, and what grace must be on her life that she could say that so strongly and so confidently to say at that moment, “I will picture Jesus and say now I give You my body.””

// After all this time, I weep for how little I know of love.  

// Photo taken at the Muslim Quarter of Old City Jerusalem.

Advertisements
Standard
Destiny, Musings, Process, The Voyage

Mercy Pulled Me Back

“You remind me of things forgotten..”

Oh how thankful I am that I came – it really was His perfect timing. I needed it more than I realized. Needed to hear again, needed to see again – the things forgotten, the things I pushed out of sight because it was so much easier to just forget. But He doesn’t forget. For the longest time I was drowning. Carrying the weight of toxic that I should never have let myself carry. 

But in the midst of my foolishness, the Lord fought so fiercely for me. The more I think upon it the more I realize that all along He has been fighting for me. Mercy, mercy everywhere I turn. Mercy that reached for me in the midst of my blindness and pulled me out. I see it all so clear now. 

It is time to breathe again Isabel. Breathe in the freedom you didn’t even know you lost along the way. 

Standard
Destiny, mercy, The Voyage

New Every Morning 

“There is time to make things right, to put things where they should have been put from the beginning. We convince ourselves that we are stuck where we have chosen to stick, and nothing can change it. Every moment, we can begin again. Every moment, you can become whomever you have waited to become.”

Mercy held me through the night, even when I could not see. And it is mercy that will lift me up to kiss the dawn. Beautiful, beautiful mercy. 

Father I trust you. With my whole heart I trust You. 

Standard
Consecration, Destiny, Eternity, Love

What Is The Point?

What if destiny isn’t a place I reach in ministry, but the journey towards the fullness of oneness with my Jesus? The fullness of my heart in love, devotion, intimacy and obedience? 

Is there any other way to life? Certainly not. All else is but a shadow to this one singular pursuit. 

My heart strays often to my other lovers. Sometimes they are all I can see, and they become my reality. 

But deep down inside, I long for One above all. How can I not? He is who I was made for, and in Him I come alive the most. 

I know that this life will be one where my “yes” to the Lord will be tested over and over again. There are moments when my love for Jesus feels like a fiery flame that cannot be quenched. At other times, and this happens more than I dare to confess, my love feels so weak. I am overwhelmed by the world and I feel so incapable of holding firm to the resolves that I make during moments of heightened passion. If not for the Divine Grace that holds on to me I would have given up and fallen away a long long time ago. 

Yet, it is worth declaring that through these highs and lows that I swing back and forth from, my heart for Him remains true. My love for Him has always, always been real, even in the moments when I am the weakest. I am not ashamed to say so because there is no lie in my words. 

And so over and over again I will come in humility and sing, even when my heart is so broken and all I can offer is the small hidden part of it that has pledged everlasting love to Him. 

This is the pilgrimage of my heart and the destiny of my life. This journey is one that I will give myself to for the rest my days, no matter how many times I break and fall. I know that one day it will be fulfilled in all entirety when I see – face to face – my Lord shining before me in all Glory, Beauty and Light. 

“All things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist.”

“For of Him and through Him and to Him are all things, to whom be glory forever. Amen.”

‭‭Romans 11:36 // Colossians‬ ‭1:16-17

Jesus is the point of my life.

Standard
Pain, Prayer, Process, Trials, Wilderness

The Struggle

“My dear,
we are all made of water. 
it’s okay to rage. sometimes 
it’s okay to rest. to recede.”
// Sanober Khan

I am weary and heavy hearted. Strong waves pull me down underwater and I struggle to breathe. The fight inside of me rages though I beg for mercy, beg for silence. Tears stream down my face as I break, unable to contain the war within. So much pain for such a small body. 

I collapse in a grieving heap at Your feet. The only place I find comfort, the only One I know how to trust. 

“Rockabye baby come and rest
You’ve been tired lately 
Lay your head down

Don’t you think baby I know best?
I’ve been a Father for a long time.” 

Grace! I need grace for this journey. Please. 

Standard
Eschatology, Eternity, Musings, Worship

Singing My Way Into The Truth

Every time I worship, I worship not from a place of having fully known. I sing from a place of my heart learning more and more the truths that I am singing. My lips pour fourth great and drastic exclamations of faith, and though my heart is but catching up, those words are not lies. I am broken, but He takes my weak worship and covers it in grace to make it real and beautiful unto Him.

I know Him to a measure. I have seen Him through my veiled eyes. So much so that He has become the first Beloved of my heart! Even so… I have but scratched the surface of knowing who this marvelous God is.

One day I will see Him fully and love Him fully. Until then, this is the pilgrimage of my heart… here in the waiting, here in the now but not yet, here in my brokenness – I will yet sing my way into the fullness of Truth and knowing.

Standard
Destiny, Intimacy, Love, Musings, Process, Purpose

Relationships

God sends different people to journey with you in the different seasons of your life. Wisdom is discerning between those meant only to journey with you for a specific season, and those meant to be held close for a lifetime. Wisdom is intentionality in pursuing relationships and friendships. Wisdom is guarding and nurturing covenant relationships that are meant to last a lifetime. Wisdom is also having a spirit of release when a season of relationship is over – to allow both parties to move on to greater heights that were never meant to be journeyed on closely together. It does not mean you love each other any less, but it does mean releasing each other in the Lord in order to allow further growth and expansion. It does not mean cutting off all contact but it does mean not being selfish and not holding each other back. It means trusting that the Lord will bring new friends to walk with both parties in that new season. 

People have walked in and out of my life over the past few years – some were meant only to journey with me for a particular season, while others I know are covenant relationships meant to last a lifetime. I have learnt intentionality when pursuing relationships and friendships. I have learnt the necessity of protecting and pouring into covenant relationships. I have also learnt how to live with an open hand in order to release somebody to the Lord when it is time for the next season in their life and in mine. Discernment, and then the following appropriate intentionality is extremely important. There is no such thing as coincidence – God sends people into our lives for specific seasons and reasons. We must know who belongs to when, and for how long, and then intentionally pursue and act on that. Relationships are important, and never, ever random. Who we surround ourselves with will make or break our destinies. 

Also, I have realized that covenant relationships call for a greater level of intimacy and vulnerability. Although not the rule for every case (because there are seasonal friendships that are no less beautiful and intense), I have found this to be generally true. Wisdom is found in setting boundaries when necessary, and then letting down our guard without fear when God calls for it. Build fences, but never walls. Let those fences have doors, and be brave to open those doors and allow the right people access into the deepest parts of your heart. We were never meant to do this thing called life alone. We must not fear vulnerability when it comes to the right people, or we will rob ourselves of the one thing our hearts were made for – love. 

Be wise and discern, and then be brave. 

Standard