Pain, Process

Enough. 

Today, somebody – a father figure – gave me permission to let go. I didn’t know just how much I needed that until I heard it coming from his lips. What a relief it was, after all this time, to finally be allowed to.

The expectations of other people can sometimes be such a cruel thing. So beyond the “shoulds” and the “shouldn’ts”, I’m taking back my own damn life. 

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Pain, Process, Trials

My Prideful Need 

After all these years I am still learning to surrender. To yield all I do not have control over to the One who reigns over all. You’d think I’d have learnt by now but these hands – they hold on so tight. Always clutching to understand. Constantly grappling to make sense, though I can but see so far with these shallow eyes. My finite mind becomes so furious when I cannot comprehend. I throw my fists up in the sky, demanding for some form of explaination – as if He owes me anything at all. But more often than not I am met only with gentle silence. 

Please help me to let go. 

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Process, The Voyage, Trials, Wilderness

a new beginning

2016, you were strange and hard. Happy in some ways yes, but mostly just really, really tired. I am so relieved to see you go. I will be taking the lessons learnt with me, but with the deepest breath I let go and empty my soul of everything else that was never meant for me to carry. This little heart only has room for so much.. For the longest time it has tried to cope with more than it can bear but now I just want to breathe again. 

2017, I welcome you with pale and trembling arms – hoping against hope that you will, please, be better. 

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Musings, The Voyage

Stand Your Ground

Enough is enough. Sometimes you have to draw the lines and decide what you will and will not allow in your life. Stand your ground, beloved. Stand your ground and fight. Shake off all that hinders. Throw away everything that entangles. Cut off what brings death so you can step into true life. 

Enough is enough. 

Stay free. 

Keep walking. 

“One thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians‬ ‭3:13-14‬ ‭

Strengthen your feeble knees and keep on keeping on. A wise man once said that the choices you make today will ripple through the generations that come after you. He’s right you know. Discard the toxic. Choose the pure and good. It will be worth it all. 

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