you lay in hazy golden sunlight
– so tender and sweet as you sleep.
(i once dreamed of a moment like this.)
at the sight of you,
my soft and withered heart heals.
// written this morning before he stirred awake.
The prospect of love reduces me into a manic fool. But how can I not be one, when it is the greatest desire, the biggest longing of my godforsaken heart.
How desperate my clutch becomes, how embarrassing.
But love is my desire, my greatest longing and I can’t help but to become a fool for it.
– written months ago, when I first met him.
I miss the days of simple faith. Everything is so much easier when you “just believe”. So much more beautiful.
How I envy those who have not gone through the fires of doubt.
Here I stand now in these fires. They lick and eat away at me from every side. Will I come out unscathed and stronger, or will they burn me away to waste?
“You are like a dancing dream, full of bright lights and colors and explosion. I could watch you all day and when you speak I never want to stop listening. You make me fall in love without even trying, and you don’t even know it.”
I wrote this ages ago. I never share little pieces like in the moment – it feels too vulnerable. But when it has all passed and when my heart has settled.. the stories become easier to tell.
He made such a mark on my heart. It was a very brief and fragile time, but I catch myself missing it every single day.