Intimacy, Prayer

Sit with You, Stay with You

I think it is important to sit with God, even when I do not know the words to pray. Some days I don’t have very much to say. But I be with Him anyway and there is a soothing peace that covers my soul. 

And often, when I am burdened, I do not like to talk. I know not what to say. What I do is I sit with Him and turn my groaning heart towards Him. I trust that He hears and understands the heaviness I have no words for. 

Consecration, Desire, Intimacy, Longing, Prayer

Of Desires

There is a place of oneness and intimacy where the desires of His heart and the desires of our heart are one and the same. The heart surrendered to Jesus need not be afraid of its desires. It is true that our hearts can be deceitful, but it is also true that in His presence, falsehood will flee. He is quick to remove the desires that are not from Him as well as strengthen those that ARE of Him. He is not a God of confusion, and He is not someone who plays games with our hearts. If you cannot get something off your heart, and it only gets louder and louder in His presence, it is probably His voice. False desires are quick to fade, but desires that are good and of the Lord will not be so easily shaken. Time and time again these desires will resound in your heart, and you need not be afraid of them. Know that it is a prophetic invitation from Him : “Ask what you desire and it shall be done for you, because it too is what I desire.”

We can be sure that if He places a desire in our hearts, He will surely cause it to come to pass – hinging on one condition. Ask.

Consecration, Eternity, Fear of God, Pain, Prayer, Process, Trials, Wilderness

Embrace The Fire

Who can understand his errors? Cleanse me from secret faults. Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous sins; Let them not have dominion over me. Then I shall be blameless, And I shall be innocent of great transgression. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart Be acceptable in Your sight, O LORD, my strength and my Redeemer. (‭Psalms‬ ‭19‬:‭12-14‬ NKJV)

Left on our own, we are helpless to discern between righteousness and unrighteousness. Ways that seem right in our own eyes may lead us to death. (Prov 16:25) Who can discern his hidden sins? Who can understand his errors and secret faults? My heart trembles in fear because I cannot see what is hidden within me. 

But He knows. And if we want to know, He is pleased to show us and take us through the fires of refinement. Of course there is a price to pay, but the rewards of it far, far outweighs the pain of sanctification. Better to pay the price of testing now than to pay the price of judgement later on. Better to be tested in my heart and to walk through the fire, than to live my life in ways that lead to death. We are never to abuse His grace and take it as an excuse for continuing to live in unrighteousness, hidden or unhidden. Sanctification is a necessary process and we are to walk in it. We are to walk out the righteousness given to us, and in doing so, willingly embrace the fire of testing and refining.  

Give me the testing, and give me the fire, so that what is impure may be burnt away and what is of gold, uncovered. 

Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting. (‭Psalms‬ ‭139‬:‭23-24‬ NKJV) 

Consecration, Destiny, Eternity, Longing, Love, Musings, Prayer

Of Purpose, Intentions, and Decisions

If the entire purpose and the ultimate culmination of my life is to love God then I need to be intentional in doing so. The decisions I make, big and small, internally and externally, must work towards this one purpose. Where I go, what I decide to do, who I surround myself with, what I listen to, the day to day decisions, the major life altering decisions.. All of it needs to be intentional, and all of it must, to some degree or another, push my heart closer to His. 

I have realized my purpose in this life and it is to love Jesus with all my heart, mind, soul and strength. I will not fight it, rather I will work with Him in bringing every area of my life under voluntary yieldedness so I can love Him with all that I am and all that I have. I want this! This both scares me and excites me because I know have barely even scratched the surface when it comes to loving Him in all entirety. 

We talk about things like wholeheartedness, pursuit, surrender and yieldedness. These terms are beautiful and they capture the heart of it so beautifully but have we given any thought to how this plays out in the mundaneness of everyday life? What does an authentic pursuit of the heart of God look like? What does it mean in the day to day? I believe that oneness with God is completely possible and doable even on this side of eternity. It has to be, because He would not have commanded us to pursue it if it were out of reach. 

Loving God wholly with all that we are and all that we have is possible, and I want to pursue it with all intentionality. Let every decision of my heart and my life reflect this desire. I want to stand at the end of my life before the One I love with no regret.

Grace, Intimacy, Prayer

Receive Me Even In My Weakness

My heart is weak in the sense that I am weak and frail flesh. My prayers are weak and small, my supplications; faint and at times, incoherent even. In moments like these, I am prone to condemn myself and believe that my weak comings and goings before the Throne make no difference, that I am unheard and unseen. I hide my head in shame because of my weakness. It is easy to believe that I am pleasing to Him when my soul is ablaze with passion. It is easy to believe also that I am unworthy of Him when my soul is faint with burden and heavy with the cloak of dullness. I think to myself, “Surely He, someOne so beautiful, is deserving of a better love! What does He want with me when I am weak?”

But far is that from the truth. He hears the weak breath of a babe as much as He hears the eloquent prayers of fervent saints. He beckons me to boldly come, even in my weakness. Even when I have nothing to offer but pitiful cries, He wants me to come. I do not understand this, but I am glad for it. If it depended on me and my risings and fallings, I could never hope to draw close to God. But as it is, He beckons me to draw close, not because of who I am but because of who He is. I am not constant, but He is. I am weak, but He is glad to receive me even in my weakness.