goodness, Hope, Worship

Little scribblings of hope // joy flowers inside my heart 

7.19 am. I stir awake to sheer joy and a song of praise within my heart. I am so thankful to be called Yours! I am so excited about who You are, and my heart is bursting with anticipation for all that You will do. After all this time, You still reign. After all this time, You’re still true. 

Sing praise my soul

Find strength in joy 

Let His words lead you on

Do not forget His great faithfulness 

He’ll finish all He’s begun.  

(back to bed with the silliest grin on my face.) 

goodness, Hope, Longing, restoration, The Voyage

Tree Of Life

Those who sow in tears will reap in joyful shouting. The more the tears, the greater the joy that awaits. There are areas in my life where I have ever only known hurt and disappointment. Yet it is exactly in these areas that my Father wants to show His goodness the most. It is hard to believe sometimes but it is true. I know it with all my heart.  

I know that the tears we cry before Him fall as water to tender soil. We look now and we see no sign of life – only barrenness and disappointment. But hope again. Again and again and again, even against the fiercest of odds. Never allow the tender soil of your heart to harden. Because hidden underneath is a seed of promise. The tears that fall from our weary eyes water this promise seed. And as we sow with our tears and frustrations, as we plough with our heart hopes and secret prayers – this seed will, one day, grow into the most beautiful tree of life. 

The darker the night, the brighter the day. The longer the hope deffered, the more radiant the tree of life. We come with our ashes and He gives us beauty. We come with our broken hearts and He makes all things beautiful. We surrender and He restores. 

All the tears I have cried, I will, one day, reap in joyful shouting. And everything that I have fought so hard to believe in – one day I will no longer have to fight anymore – because it will be as plain as day, playing out right in front of my eyes for me to see. Everything that I have ever lost, all the tears I have ever cried, all the brokenness I have ever endured, He will restore back to me with joy and singing. 

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a promise fulfilled is a tree of life. He will fulfill all His promises and we will dance wild and free under His tree of life. 

Musings, Process, Trials, Wilderness, Worship

You Taught My Feet to Dance Upon Disappointment

I think one of the greatest gifts we can ever give to God on this side of time is our abandoned trust. God knows no lack, and He has no need, but delight overwhelms His heart when His children dare to trust Him at His word. When we are able to do that, we are saying to God, “I take You at what You say because I love You.”

We know that a promise fulfilled is a tree of life. But is it possible to eat of that tree, even before a promise is fulfilled? I believe so! I believe there is a place of trust that He desires for us to come to – where we can dance with praise even before we see His promises come to pass.

We don’t stake our hope on the promise itself, but on the One who gives it to us. He is faithful and He will never lie to us. He is a good Father and He doesn’t play games with our hearts. Because of this we can dare to take Him at His every word.

In the waiting, there is hope, and there is joy. When we are waiting for a promise that is so sure, that is so unshakable, our waiting becomes pregnant with joyful expectation.

A dear friend told me yesterday, “When we embrace the mystery, we give up our right to look for clues in the natural.”

We don’t need more signs. We need a greater revelation of the goodness of our Father.

When we know His heart for us, we can sing even in the midst of sickness, heartache and disappointment. We can dance upon barren land and praise the One who, as surely as the sun will rise, will make all things beautiful.

Destiny, Eternity, The Church

Bigger Than Life, Bigger Than Me

Some of God’s promises are too big to carry alone. It might be your promise but it might not come to pass unless someone else, or an entire community, or an entire generation, comes along to help you to carry it.

Some of His promises cannot even be contained in one single lifetime. What if we never see our promises come to pass fully in our lifetimes? What if our children, or our grandchildren, or the generations beyond were the ones who would carry them to pass? God promised Abraham children that would outnumber the stars in the sky and the grains of sand on the shores. But he never saw it in his lifetime. Yet it is coming true today – unfolding more and more fully every passing day.

Don’t you see? It’s not about you. It’s not about your ministry, or your calling, or your destiny. It’s far bigger than that. When you start to see His Kingdom as a whole – as an establishment spanning from the beginning of Creation right until the end of age – one that covers entire lifetimes and whole generations – suddenly you realize that your life is but one tiny strand of the magnificent eternal tapestry He is weaving. Suddenly your eyes are lifted off your own life and fixed unto humanity’s story. Suddenly it’s not only about you as an individual but about the Bride as a whole. Suddenly it’s not only about fulfilling your own calling but about carrying the people around you into theirs. Suddenly it’s not only about what you will do in this life, but what you will raise your children to do. Suddenly it’s not “me” anymore… it’s “us”. It’s us – through Him, to Him, in Him and for Him.

We are His orchestra, and all of Creation is a symphony, building up unto one single grand crescendo – the revelation of the glorious Son.


Choices and Consequences

The story of Abraham, Sarah, Hagar and eventually, the Eastern Arabic lineage of Ishmael intruiges me. 

One woman’s doubt. 
One man’s lack of faith. 

The consequences of Abraham and Sarah’s mistrust in God have rippled through an entire generation and we are still seeing the disastrous effects of it today. What would have happened if they had believed in His promise of a son to them? What would have happened if they had chosen to trust Him with the desire of their hearts instead of taking things into their own hands? 

What has He promised to you? What is the desire of your heart that you waiting for? 

His promises may sound impossible and downright absurd sometimes. We look at the physical circumstances around us and we wonder how any of it will ever come to pass. Our hope is deferred time and time again and in the waiting our hearts grow sick. Like Sarah, we are tempted to take things into our own hands and settle for easier options instead of waiting for what seems like the impossible. 

But know that there is a great reward that awaits those who remain faithful and patiently endure the heartache of waiting. It is hard – but not as hard as facing the consequences and regret of disobedience. We may not understand it now, but our choices to trust and move forward in obedience (or the other way around) will set the course for the generations that come after us.

Musings, Process, Wilderness

Faith and Patience

…imitate those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.
And so, after he had patiently endured, he obtained the promise. (Hebrews 6:12,15 NKJV)

Faith and patience – it takes both to inherit the promises of God.

Sometimes I wonder why He promises us something so far ahead of time, and then deffers the fulfillment of it. Wouldn’t it be easier on our hearts not to tell us at all, until it is time? Because if we know, we want. And if we want, we ache.

“Did You really say that Lord? Did I hear wrong? What would You have me do?”

We swing back and forth between the heights of faith and the depths of doubt. Up and down we go – one minute hoping, the next, giving up, and then the next, daring to believe again. Tiring isn’t it?

Still.. He isn’t fazed. He walks us through this slow fire of process because it is here that the gold is formed. It is here that He builds in us a steadiness and maturity strong enough to carry the promise when it finally comes to pass.

Faith and patience. Because trust doesn’t have a deadline. Don’t lose heart, you’ll get there. And you’ll be so ready when you do.

Prayer, Process, Wilderness

Cry of My Heart

“There’s a song that’s inside of my soul
It’s the one that I’ve tried to write over and over again
I’m awake in the infinite cold
But You sing to me over and over and over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know now You’re my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars
Of Your galaxies dancing and laughing and laughing again
When it feels my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again

I give You my destiny
I’m giving You all of me
I want Your symphony singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs
I’m giving it back

And I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know now You’re my only hope”

If I must be broken, let me be broken at Your feet Jesus.