Bridal Paradigm, Desire, Longing, Love, Prayer, Worship

Wildfire

When I peer into His heart, I don’t see a tame love. I don’t see a love that is quiet. I see a raging wildfire. His heart… it pulsates with holy desire, consuming all who dare come near. It is fearsome.

When He said love is as strong as death, as unyielding as the grave, I did not understand just how much at first. But oh! How I sought to grasp it! How I have longed with all my heart to understand this love. How I cried.

And He is beginning to answer.

When I see the wildfire heart of Jesus, my own weak one trembles. When my eyes are opened to see this beautiful burning One, I am brought into a crumpled sobbing heap on my knees.

More and more Lord. More and more, I want to see. Will You let the heat of Your heart touch mine? Will You grip me and cause me to burn? Will You allow me to peer into the wonderful mystery of You all the days of my life?

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Bridal Paradigm, Longing, Love

Beautiful One I Long For

Then I turned to see the voice that spoke with me. And having turned I saw seven golden lampstands, and in the midst of the seven lampstands One like the Son of Man, clothed with a garment down to the feet and girded about the chest with a golden band. His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and His eyes like a flame of fire; His feet were like fine brass, as if refined in a furnace, and His voice as the sound of many waters; He had in His right hand seven stars, out of His mouth went a sharp two-edged sword, and His countenance was like the sun shining in its strength. (‭Revelation‬ ‭1‬:‭12-16‬ NKJV)

This is the glorious One I love. Jesus is so beautiful… Tonight my heart aches to see Him. I wish I could peer past the veil of eternity and see Him. My insides twist with longing so much and I cry. I want to see Him. I want to see Him so much.

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Eternity, Intimacy, Longing, Love, Prayer, Trials, Wilderness

Strengthen Me to Worship

This is not a new revelation but tonight I realized again just how much of a choice love and worship is. It is a decision we make, over and over again, irregardless of the emotions we feel. I cannot always see Him, the One with eyes like fire and hair like wool. There are some days when the shroud of normality and the blanket of mundaneness seem more real than the Burning One John wrote about in the book of Revelation. 

But I think I struggle the most when my heart is tired. When my heart is tired and when my soul is weary, the last thing I feel like doing is declaring goodness when I don’t see it. When there is a gap between what I know and what I see, it is hard to believe. It is hard to face the void and to speak life into it. It is easier to curl up in a ball under my blanket and shut down, or to put on a senseless movie to numb the mind. It is easier to run around in circles distracting myself with a million and one things than it is to come vulnerable before God and sing. 

But love chooses Him. Love sings to Him even in tiredness and weariness. Love chooses worship and love chooses praise. And I love Him. 

There are days when His presence is closer than the skin on my bones. It is so easy to worship Him then because all I can see is glory. But there are also days when my heart hurts and all I know is the mundane. I know that one day, the curtain of eternity will open and I will see Him with unveiled eyes. But until then, in the dark night of faith, I will choose to worship. He is still beautiful and He is still worthy, even when I cannot see. And I will sing my love to Him, even if I have to wage a war within my will to do so. 

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Uncategorized

The Forgotten Jesus

I was talking to a friend the other day, and she said something along the lines of, “Jesus is the most neglected topic in the Church today”.

I can’t help but to agree with how true that is. I honestly cannot remember the last time I heard someone talk about Jesus. About His divinity, about His character, His personality, His heart, His nature, His desires. 

I hear more teachings about how to manage finances, the need to “submit”, how to be a good leader, how to worship, how to know your giftings…. More than I do about Jesus Himself. 

It’s not that these things are bad, but they are secondary to the knowledge of God Himself. 

Then I turned to see the voice that spoke with me. And having turned I saw seven golden lampstands, and in the midst of the seven lampstands One like the Son of Man, clothed with a garment down to the feet and girded about the chest with a golden band. His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and His eyes like a flame of fire; His feet were like fine brass, as if refined in a furnace, and His voice as the sound of many waters; He had in His right hand seven stars, out of His mouth went a sharp two-edged sword, and His countenance was like the sun shining in its strength. And when I saw Him, I fell at His feet as dead. But He laid His right hand on me, saying to me, “Do not be afraid; I am the First and the Last. I am He who lives, and was dead, and behold, I am alive forevermore. Amen. And I have the keys of Hades and of Death. (‭Revelation‬ ‭1‬:‭12-18‬ NKJV)

Can we truly say that we know Jesus? The One with eyes of fire, the One with a voice like many waters. The One with feet of brass, hair white as wool – beauty and countenance shining brighter than the sun in all its strength. The glorious One who sits enthroned above the circle of the earth. The One surrounded by cherubims and seraphims who cry holy and sing of His beauty, worshipping Him both day and night. The One Ezekiel saw in the whirlwind of raging fire, the Man on the Throne above the glowing firmament. Holy Bridegroom, precious Lamb of God, the Desire of the Nations, Son of David, Lion of Judah, King of Israel, the righteous Judge who is to come soon. 

Do we truly know this Jesus? 

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