Consecration, Destiny, Musings, Pain, Process, Trials, Wilderness

The Wayward Dancer

Here. Here am I in my entirety, the fullness of my contradiction in my body entirely, the beauty of affliction in my members for what seems like an eternity. What about me and my affliction causes me to call it beauty? I am an enigma to the worlds society; condemned by one, redeemed by another. Through the hail and the storm my body pushes on, not of its own accord but because of what my hope is leant on. I am not my own yet here am I, The Wayward Dancer. Here am I with this sinful cancer, it breathes, it bleeds, it spreads, but only when my eyes are on its master. To turn from my afflicted norm, to deny myself and push through the storm… is what some call suicide, to coincide with the reasoning of flesh and desires of a dead man gone.

But this I will decide. Each and every day of my last and never longing breath, to pick up my past and cast it aside for it is trash – it is the dead man. What I have done and where I have gone does not effect the transgression that is my beautiful affliction. And now to give answer to my self proclaimed title and to my Hope that does not tarry nor wander as my soul might search the sea and it’s ever desiring depths.

I am a man living not of my own accord. A will I have, but have laid it down, this I did today, just this past Morn. Yet again I shall choose, and yet again shall I deny my flesh so that I do not succumb to the numb that eats away. I shall put off self and be clothed in light. I shall walk the treacherous path and with feet soaked in blood I will walk. My road is not an easy one and though I look like one with a debt to death and suicide, I am not and I have none. No debt except to the One who lived and died and rose again.

I am not my own save the day I choose to be. I have surrendered all but my name to Thee who died for me. “He Giveth and He Taketh away.” Or so some say. Yet, are not all His to give and to take as He pleases? A sense of entitlement is quickly squashed as one wanders further down this track of enquirement.

As I meander, as I stride, as I climb, as I suffer, as I run, as I walk, as I scream and yell and tear my way through this dream that breathes in glory inspired by love, I find myself in a place of anxiousness and peace.

Peace because I know this universal expanse is not at my disposal to command or dictate, so my fate is safe not with me but my Lover. And anxious because I am finite and know not always whether I should have turned to the left when I turned to the right or if I should have turned to the right when I turned to the left.

My heart aches but it is being restored. I am new, I am whole. I am noone’s but only one does truly know me.

He knows. He sees. He loves.

On these things I stake my life and my plea.

Oh Father would You meet with me..

Daniel Moreira

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Eschatology, Forerunner Message, Longing, Musings, Pain

Hope Of Creation

My heart breaks when I look at the chaos and the confusion our world is in today. How in need we are of God. Man cannot fix man. Man cannot help man. There is a rise of blatant injustice and an increasing hatred for what is pure, noble and true. There is brokenness everywhere. There is no political solution we can come up with on our own to fix a broken and dying world. How in need we are for the return of Jesus. Our world is spinning out of control, and we can never fix it on our own because the root of most of what is going on today is the darkness of the human heart. How in need we are of the return of Jesus to make the wrong things right. We need His government and His rule because He alone is the perfect King. His judgements alone are true, perfect and good.

Jesus come back. Come back and help the widow, the orphan… the little girl who is being raped every day by man after man after man. Come back and help the needy, the oppressed and the defenseless. Come back and set the captives free. Come back and give us beauty for our ashes. Come back Lord. Come back with Your justice and Your righteousness. Come back with Your perfect judgements. We need You. Mankind needs You. We are dead and we are lost without You. 

“I will not leave you orphans, I will come to you.” (John 14:18)

This is Your promise. Do not leave us as orphans Jesus. Come to us. You are our only hope.

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Consecration, Fear of God, Grace, Musings

Love Leads Us Into Truth

For Your lovingkindness is before my eyes, and I have walked in Your truth. – Psalm 26:3

David knew the love of God, and he responded to the love of God by walking in truth. The love of God is not a flippant love that condones sin and injustice. It is not a meek and blind love that says, “Do as you please, because I love and forgive you anyway.”  

It is a fierce love that commands overwhelming desire and wholehearted response. It is a strong love that will provoke entirety and cause one to burn every bridge and leave all behind to follow Him and His ways – willingly. There is no other possible response, not in the face of a love like this. 

The love of God transforms, inside and out, yielding the fruits of truth, because such is the nature of Love. A life that has truly encountered the love of God can never be the same. A heart that has truly encountered the presence of God can never, ever be the same.

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Bridal Paradigm, Consecration, Grace, Intimacy, Musings, Pain

He Calls Me Lovely

I am dark, but lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem, Like the tents of Kedar, Like the curtains of Solomon. (‭Song of Solomon‬ ‭1‬:‭5‬ NKJV)

Time and time again, the depths of my own humanity shock me. Held up against the light of His holiness, I am aghast at my weaknesses, my sins, my failures, my inabilities. 

But He does not let me stop there. When He reveals to me the depths of my depravity, He reveals also to me the brilliance of His love. His love is exalted the same way the stars are exalted against a pitch black sky. 

The more I know Him, the more I see that He loves me not because I am good, but because He is good. I am utterly wretched apart from the grace of Jesus Christ.

But now, because of grace, He calls me lovely. Yes, I am dark, but I am lovely. 

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