Destiny, Eternity, Intimacy, Process, The Voyage

Through it all. 

Maybe destiny isn’t so much a place we are going to, nor a task we will set out to do – but more of the person we will become through it all. 

Every fire, every trial, every form of testing refines our hearts in meekness, faithfulness and humility before God – if we respond rightly. 

And every joy, every victory, every single fight won molds our hearts in understanding of His nature – that we may delight to love Him more.

I think destiny is the complete fullness of a heartbeat thriving in oneness with Jesus – that having done all we may stand, and stand victorious before the One we know and love. 

– pilgrim on a journey home. 

Pain, Trials, Wilderness, Words

Broken pieces // the shattered remains of what could have been

I’m standing here. I’m standing here and I’m looking around me and all I see are broken pieces. I kneel down and try to pick them up – but all I do is cut myself on these ragged glass edges. Tell me what to do. Pleasejust tell me what to do. 

I can’t bear the sight of all this. 

Intimacy, Musings, Pain, Process, Trials, Wilderness

The Fire Brings Gold

Process is painful, but the rewards of it far outweigh the suffering. There is no gold without fire. Given the choice, I would never want to skip the process. There might be some processes I might haven chosen over others I had to go through, but we don’t have that choice. But what comes out at the end – the priceless intimacy with God, the understanding of His faithfulness and the knowing of His nearness – let me tell you, it is worth it and it will never come to you any other way besides journeying through the processes of life with Him. The gold that is uncovered when your heart is tested and found faithful – it is worth every fight and every tear.

“Who is this coming up from the wilderness, leaning upon her beloved?” / Song of Solomon 8:5

May our hearts be found faithful and true to Him through the fire. May we be found coming up from the wilderness leaning upon our Beloved.

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Consecration, Eternity, Fear of God, Pain, Prayer, Process, Trials, Wilderness

Embrace The Fire

Who can understand his errors? Cleanse me from secret faults. Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous sins; Let them not have dominion over me. Then I shall be blameless, And I shall be innocent of great transgression. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart Be acceptable in Your sight, O LORD, my strength and my Redeemer. (‭Psalms‬ ‭19‬:‭12-14‬ NKJV)

Left on our own, we are helpless to discern between righteousness and unrighteousness. Ways that seem right in our own eyes may lead us to death. (Prov 16:25) Who can discern his hidden sins? Who can understand his errors and secret faults? My heart trembles in fear because I cannot see what is hidden within me. 

But He knows. And if we want to know, He is pleased to show us and take us through the fires of refinement. Of course there is a price to pay, but the rewards of it far, far outweighs the pain of sanctification. Better to pay the price of testing now than to pay the price of judgement later on. Better to be tested in my heart and to walk through the fire, than to live my life in ways that lead to death. We are never to abuse His grace and take it as an excuse for continuing to live in unrighteousness, hidden or unhidden. Sanctification is a necessary process and we are to walk in it. We are to walk out the righteousness given to us, and in doing so, willingly embrace the fire of testing and refining.  

Give me the testing, and give me the fire, so that what is impure may be burnt away and what is of gold, uncovered. 

Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting. (‭Psalms‬ ‭139‬:‭23-24‬ NKJV) 

Intimacy, Pain, Trials, Wilderness


“Therefore, behold, I will hedge up your way with thorns, And wall her in, So that she cannot find her paths. She will chase her lovers, But not overtake them; Yes, she will seek them, but not find them. Then she will say, ‘I will go and return to my first husband, For then it was better for me than now.’ For she did not know That I gave her grain, new wine, and oil, And multiplied her silver and gold— Which they prepared for Baal. “Therefore I will return and take away My grain in its time And My new wine in its season, And will take back My wool and My linen, Given to cover her nakedness. Now I will uncover her lewdness in the sight of her lovers, And no one shall deliver her from My hand. I will also cause all her mirth to cease, Her feast days, Her New Moons, Her Sabbaths— All her appointed feasts. “And I will destroy her vines and her fig trees, Of which she has said, ‘These are my wages that my lovers have given me.’ So I will make them a forest, And the beasts of the field shall eat them. I will punish her For the days of the Baals to which she burned incense. She decked herself with her earrings and jewelry, And went after her lovers; But Me she forgot,” says the LORD. “Therefore, behold, I will allure her, Will bring her into the wilderness, And speak comfort to her. I will give her her vineyards from there, And the Valley of Achor as a door of hope; She shall sing there, As in the days of her youth, As in the day when she came up from the land of Egypt. (‭Hosea‬ ‭2‬:‭6-15‬ NKJV)

It is good for The Lord to remove things we hold on to when they come in the way of us and Him. It is good for Him to remove the false sense of security. It is good for Him to remove the idols. It is good for Him to strip away everything that comes in between so that we are forced to come face to face with Him, the only One who satisfies. It is painful, but it is good. 

Learn to say yes to the process. We often do not understand it at the time, but we will find that at the end of it, we will have gained so much more than we lost. We will have gained Him. There is no greater treasure. 

Intimacy, Pain, Trials

The Wilderness

“Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her. (‭Hosea‬ ‭2‬:‭14‬ ESV)

Some people see the wilderness as a place of great misery and pain. They see it as a season of confusion and testing. They often cannot wait to get out of it.

But I have found in my own life that the wilderness, although strange and hard, is a place of great intimacy with the Lord. It is a vulnerable place where I am so stripped of everything I depend on, and I am left with nothing but Him. I am so helpless, and I cling on to Him like a weaned child. It is in the place of wilderness that I have discovered the greatest depths of intimacy with Him. It is hard, and I cry many tears, but it is beautiful.

If it takes the wilderness to see You and know You better, I say yes with all my heart. I say yes to every process You want to take me through. Don’t let me be offended. Allure me, and speak tenderly to me.