Pain, Trials, Wilderness, Words

Broken pieces // the shattered remains of what could have been

I’m standing here. I’m standing here and I’m looking around me and all I see are broken pieces. I kneel down and try to pick them up – but all I do is cut myself on these ragged glass edges. Tell me what to do. Pleasejust tell me what to do. 

I can’t bear the sight of all this. 

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Love, Pain, Poetry, Words

Stranger 

I used to call you a stranger 

I shook my head and laughed 

when you asked me to marry you

“You don’t even know me!”

Grinning, you said, “I know enough.”

//

The days passed 

I fell in love 

Fondly I called you 

my home, my safe place 

The steady rhythm of your heart 

comforted me like nothing I’d ever known. 

Nothing else mattered 

when your strong arms held me close.

//

But just as time comes for everything 

so did it come for us.

And for reasons I will never understand 

now you have become

a stranger again. 

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Pain, Trials, Wilderness

Tired, Just Tired. 

It’s been a weary few months, with my heart being tossed to and fro by the waves. Most of the time my pain feels like a maze I will never be able to climb my way out of. I am tired of the uncertainty that surrounds me. I speak of hope to the people around me, even though I am not sure if I have any left for myself. There are nights when I lie in bed with tears falling down my face, wondering how I ever got here to this place. Wondering why I keep looking for happiness in the place I lost it. I cry myself to exhaustion, and finally fall asleep in a dreamless haze, only to wake up to questions unanswered and longings unfulfilled yet again.

Please heal my heart Jesus. I don’t know how to heal it myself. I don’t know how I got here. 

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