Keep your eyes open.

Isn’t it crazy? How things change so quickly. A year ago everything was different. Yet those memories etch themselves so vivid in my mind; replaying as clear as the daylight sun. I have this knack of remembering it all – the important bits anyway. Of holding on to memories for far longer than I should too, both the good and bad. 

Touch. Scent. Electric emotion. I can, at will, in any instant, remember it all so real as if it were happening to me all over again. 

A year from now, nothing will be the same either. I don’t know if that excites me or terrifies me. If there is an art of living in the present, I am still learning it. But what I do know is you have to look. Look before it all changes. Before it’s all gone. 

Live

There is a treasure in every season but you have to open up your eyes to see it. For the longest time I had just been floating – utterly paralyzed this strange limbo of aching and waiting. My eyes kept looking forward, which I guess is not a bad thing in itself, but in doing so I had let everything else that was around me slip by. I lived so much for the future that I forgot the present. 

But two days ago during lunch with a dear friend, it dawned on me then what a beautiful life I have right now. This season I am in is such a gift from God. And I am happy, I really am.  

All these incredible promises spoken over my life and my heart… but in the process of waiting for them to come to pass, I had fallen into such mourning and declared my present as barren. Isn’t that mighty foolish? Because I look around me and all I see is goodness. 

I don’t want to wait anymore. Let what come may, but I don’t want to put my life on hold anymore. 

I want to live.  

Resting in the Unknown

The fear of the unknown is a very real thing. Sometimes I give in to it, and I become so overwhelmed. I don’t know what’s next, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, I don’t know where I’m supposed to be. Everything is so uncertain. I can see the big picture, but I cannot see the little steps in between and that frightens me. I’ve made so many mistakes in the past. I’ve taken so many wrong turnings. Although He has worked all of it out for good to bring me to where I am right now, and make me into who I am right now, it was not without a big price. It was not without a lot of tears and pain. What if I make another mistake? What if I take another wrong turning? What if it costs me another few years? 

Although these questions are real and legitimate, I cannot afford to allow them a voice over my life. I cannot afford to give way to fear. I need to remind myself of whose hand I’m holding. I need to quiet my heart down and look at Him. 

//

I saw the road ahead of me
Narrow and winding
Treasures untold and dangers unforeseen 
How I will walk this road?

Will I walk it well? Will I stumble? Will I fall? Am I able? Am I strong enough? Can I really do this and do it well? Do I have what it takes? 

All of these questions flood my mind… 

Doubts,
Anxieties,
Fears,
I wrestle until I am weary! 

And then I stop to breathe. 
I turn and I look at the One beside me. 
He has raging eyes, strong hands, and a beautiful smile.
His countenance shines like the sun 
Leader, Lover, Father, Truth and Wisdom, 
He is all these things and more. 

I look at Him, and suddenly I know perfect peace.
Yes the road is long and winding, and I don’t know what each turn will bring, but when I look at Him, my fears melts away.

It is a sweet thing to trust Him. 

//

Rest, my soul. There is grace for the one who chooses to follow Him.